Wedding bells are ringing!
Since Oregon overturned the same sex marriage ban last month, two
couples I know have set wedding plans. Last
Saturday, in a lovely intimate setting in a beautiful wooded garden area, my
friends stood before friends and family and pledged their ongoing love and
commitment.
These two women have been together for 27 years, so I had to
stifle a giggle when the minister mentioned the enormous commitment it takes to
enter into a marriage. I’m pretty sure
they’ve had some time to think it through.
The wedding was beautiful, with a sing-along, accompanied by guitar and
recorder, and even a kazoo (you had to be there!). Even some tinkling wind chimes in a nearby
tree contributed as if on cue. It was
magical.
As I sat listening to their vows, watching their glowing
faces, I thought of the struggles that people have had throughout American
history with such issues, back to the time when only white, male, landowners
were allowed to vote.
The same people who would deny these two women the right to
marry appear to have the same mindset (and arguments) as the group that opposed
interracial marriage in this country back before the 1967 Supreme Court
decision lifting that ban. The same
people who would be horrified at the idea of arranged marriages often seem to
have no qualms about thinking that two consenting adults in this country can’t
make their own decision about marrying one another. How stupid this same-sex marriage ban
will look to future generations! The “fabric
of society” will not be compromised one tiny bit by same-sex marriage any more
than it was by abolition of slavery, blacks and women voting, or interracial
marriage. I even feel silly pointing that
out. For some people, progress provokes
great and unreasonable fear.
So these were my thoughts as I sat there, and I got a little
irritated with myself for focusing out on this and not just enjoying this
beautiful, historical moment. Here I
was, a part of something sacred, a moment to savor and celebrate! Here was a reminder of all that is right in
this world, and that’s why I feel that in some ways, the world is getting
better, not worse as some would believe.
It’s taken huge sacrifice, and many people have put jobs,
reputations, even lives on the line for the right to marry who they want, and
here I was watching this huge victory, in a way a culmination of all that struggle. I’m
honored to be a witness to this, and grateful for all the people who spoke out,
knowing laws don’t change unless people MAKE them change. The tipping point seems to take place when
people run out of justifications for their bigotry. It also makes a difference when it affects
your neighbors, your friends, your family members, someone you care about. The scales of justice have finally tipped in
the right direction, and it’s a sweet, long-deserved victory.
What hurts one of us ultimately hurts us all, and I’m
committed to helping to create a world where people aren’t being hurt. It’s a tall order, but one step at a time,
things are getting better. By taking a
stand, win or lose, we can embolden people to safely be themselves, knowing
there are people who have their back.
My friends who married last Saturday have spent decades in
the trenches, as activists for marriage equality. Their victory is about even more than
marriage equality; it’s about promotion of the idea of equal rights for
all.
So what’s next? Well,
the Senate passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) for the first
time ever. President Obama recently
announced he’s moving ahead on an executive order that will ban anti-LGBT
discrimination among federal contractors. Now we need passage of ENDA in the House of
Representatives to get it signed into law.
June is LGBT Pride Month. For so many Oregonians, this particular June will be the sweetest one of all. Let’s relish this moment in history and keep fighting the good fight!
June is LGBT Pride Month. For so many Oregonians, this particular June will be the sweetest one of all. Let’s relish this moment in history and keep fighting the good fight!
Happy Pride Month!
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