Showing posts with label Oregon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oregon. Show all posts

Mental Health vs Terrorism

Today is the final day of Mental Health Awareness Month, and I have a lot on my mind.  I had already written a blog about mental illness, which I wasn’t able to post because of a technical issue; the following day, 19 children and their teachers were murdered and several others wounded.  Suddenly everyone was blaming “mental illness” and I knew there was more to say.

Thank You Teachers!


It’s Spring Break, a chance for students and teachers to regroup.
  Nobody deserves a break more than our teachers.

Tillamook School District board

It’s hard to find anything that everyone can agree on these days, but I think we can all agree that we love our kids and want them to be safe in school and get a good education.  I’m certain that our newly elected Tillamook School District Board members care about their kids as well, but they are making some deeply concerning decisions that every taxpayer and parent should be aware of.

Juneteenth


On Thursday, June 17, 2021, President Biden signed legislation which was overwhelmingly passed by the House and Senate, making Juneteenth a federal holiday.  Juneteenth commemorates the end of slavery by marking the day that enslaved people in Texas learned that they were free.  This was on June 19, 1865, two and a half years after Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation took effect.  For obvious reasons, word was slow to spread to people who were enslaved.  Texas was the last state in which the state government was still permitting slavery, in resistance to the federal law.  Juneteenth has been celebrated since 1866, and is also known as Jubilee Day, Emancipation Day,and Black Independence Day. 

Thank You

On Monday, September 8, the coastal weather was hot, dry, and windy.  We're accustomed to cold, wet, and windy, so this storm was a little different.  As I stood on the front steps enjoying the powerful gusts, I had no idea how different it was about to be.  I could hear the crackling of trees snapping not far away.  We lost power and started our usual drill of lighting candles and lamps.  

White House Response

Recently, I wrote a letter to President Obama apologizing for the embarrassing way he was treated when he visited families of the Umpqua Community College shooting here in Oregon.  Today I received this thoughtful response, and I thought I would share it.

Dear Mr. President

This is a letter I am sending to President Barack Obama.

Dear Mr. President,

I know I speak for not only myself, but for many other Oregonians, when I offer a deep, heartfelt apology for the way you were treated when you visited our state.  As as native-born Oregonian, I'm embarrassed and ashamed by one of the most unpatriotic things I have ever witnessed.

Tillamook for Love!

Ah, small town life.  I live in a town where, if your house catches fire, a loved one dies, or you have a flood (which is common here), people will flock to your side with offers to help.  Maybe it's because our little community is geographically isolated.   We have the Pacific ocean on one side, and steep mountain passes and treacherous roads on all three other sides, which are prone to downed trees and landslides.  We have learned to take care of our own here, and we pride ourselves on it.  For several decades, our local high school has done a week-long charity drive that raises huge amounts and has received national attention.  I'm proud of our neighborly spirit and resilience.

We also have a darker side.  Our community, like so many other Oregon communities, was a Ku Klux Klan stronghold and a "Sundown Town," one that enacted a local ordinance requiring all black people to be out of town by sundown... or else.  It's been well-known that Tillamook isn't the safest place to be different, i.e. black, Hispanic, non-English speaking, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender), Athiest, or other non-Christian, just to name a few.

Many intolerant attitudes remain, and I'm not so proud of that.  In 1996, a black student ended up leaving Tillamook after having hate speech scrawled across their locker and being otherwise harassed.  Other local high school students were outraged, and created a county-wide declaration and held a march in support of the student.  Still, things are slow to change.

For the last few years, I have been involved with the Rural Organizing Project, a statewide organizations that works in small rural communities to stand up for civil and human rights.  About two years ago, I began coordinating an LGBT and Allies monthly social, to bring people together to create a community where all felt safe.  It quickly became apparent to me that Tillamook is a very closeted community, still shrouded in fear and the kind of misinformation that supports oppression.  I have long dreamed of a gay-straight alliance being formed at our local high school.  We need to do far more than practice tolerance; we need to actively support all members of our community.  Every kid has a basic right to a safe educational atmosphere, free from harassment and bullying.  I have been on this soapbox for some time, and trying to find ways to build that support and create an active local voice for equality.  But it's hard when people don't feel safe being who they are.  

Something happened on Tuesday, May 19th, which was a game-changer in my sleepy little town, and it started with one teenage girl.  

For months, two local men have basically terrorized downtown Tillamook.  They are aspiring street preachers, whose method of preaching includes screaming abusive and hateful things at passers-by, yelling that people are going to hell, and calling young girls and women whores (like a teenager who had just left dance class with her parent).  People had tried to reason with them, only to be screamed at abusively.  Local businesses, who need all the business they can get in our depressed rural economy, have been none too happy at having potential customers driven away outside their doors.  It came to a point that people largely ignored them, out of disgust and embarrassment.  Until Tuesday.

They began their usual diatribe on the sidewalk, by the parking lot of an eye clinic and a dance studio full of children.  This time, their focus was on homosexuality.  They were yelling about gay sex, and one was holding a sign that read, "homo sex is a sin."  Makaila Ragan, a local high school junior, heard them outside her mother's place of work, and decided enough was enough.  With her mother's permission, Makaila made her own sign, which said, "I <3 Gays."  She bravely walked out to the sidewalk and stood silently next to the two men, holding her sign.  She endured being yelled at and verbally abused.  Her mother was also verbally abused.  Horrible, hateful things were said, but Makaila stood her ground and did not return hateful words.

Within minutes, she was joined by one of her friends from the high school, then another, then a crowd began to grow, and stood surrounding the two men, while holding signs about love and tolerance.  I heard about the protest at my office right after a few of her friends had shown up and got a picture:


Makaila and a few friends about 5pm.

The crowd eventually spilled across the street to take up two street corners, while others drove by honking and shouting their support.  Makaila and her friends vowed to stay on the corner until the two men left, and that's what they did.  She stood on the corner with her sign from 4pm to 10:30pm that night, until they left.  Here's a picture from  8:45pm:



 
In a small town like Tillamook, we like to joke that if you do something, everyone in the county will know by the end of the day.  While gossip can be annoying, in this case it was a blessing.  More than one pastor came down to the corner to lend support to the group.  Local business owners thanked them for doing something about what had become a big problem.  Parents and loved ones of LGBT people came down to express thanks and support.  A Facebook group (Tillamook for Love) was created that night, that now has over 3,000 members from all over the globe.  Local papers picked up the story about the petite, brave young woman who handled two bullies with class and wisdom.   Her story has now been told in several national publications, as well as international publications, such as London's Daily Globe.  

There have been follow up rallies, as well as planning meetings, by the cohesive and committed group of people who wish to change community norms.  Our rally on May 23rd had over 75 people, some who had traveled from other areas, and a pastor and followers from a local church.   Not everyone supports us, but more people do than we expected.  

It has created a heated conversation in our small town, mostly around the line between free speech and hate speech.   My focus is on two other issues: One is the difference one person can make, with a simple action.  The other is the fact that there are many more caring, open-minded, non-judgmental people in Tillamook than any of us previously realized.  And now we have found one another and will make things happen.  We know who our allies are, there is a multitude of us, we are organizing, and we aren't going to back down!

We aren't going to put up with abuse, especially when it targets one group of people, often children, who are picked on already.  We are going to be meeting, holding conversations, planning, coordinating, and backing each other up to speak out when we see hate in our community.  Visitors come to our town, to enjoy the gorgeous coastal scenery and try the famous Tillamook dairy products.  Instead of being greeted by two men screaming foul and vicious things "in the name of God," they will be met with tolerance and kindness.  And our kids (speaking of God, God bless 'em) are creating their own culture at the high school.  They are organizing, gathering together, and supporting each other.  We adults have a moral obligation to support them in creating a safe community.  We can all be deeply proud of these young people, who are completely committed to love and kindness, when it would be so easy to respond with anger and vitriol.

Statistics show that one in three teen suicides is an LGBT youth.  There's something wrong in our society when someone is bullied to death, or wishes to die because someone has made them feel so wrong about being who they are.  We want our kids to stop bullies, and apparently we have taught them well.  They have banded together to stop adult bullies in the streets of our town.  They have even formed what I like to call a response team to show up with signs, using the Facebook group to alert when the men are spotted.

A friend of mine referred to Makaila's actions as a "Rosa Parks moment." I guess my point in writing this is that these "Rosa Parks moments" don't happen in a vacuum.  Her friends showed up, the community showed up, in my native town where I would have been less surprised if folks had thrown tomatoes at her.   I grew up and went to high school here and saw the deeply ingrained racism and homophobia.  I know many people who left this town for those very reasons.  I can't be the only person giggling at the irony of Tillamook being hailed as a place of tolerance.  At the same time I'm giddy with the potential for change, and I can feel the change in the air.  

Of course a Rosa Parks moment, while beautiful, doesn't excuse us from maintaining action.  If anything, it's a call to action.  There will be resistance,  and tough choices.  One young friend of mine has lost his job for participating in Tillamook for Love, on his own time.  There is still intolerance, and a solid need to remain steadfast in our common mission, which is create a safer and more loving community.

Our youth are ready to take this on.  Are we ready to stand alongside them?

Each one of us has a circle of influence, whether it is our church, our friends, our workplace, online, or any other place we have a presence.  Come join the group, be part of the conversation, and part of positive change.  We have a responsibility to not let these young people down, as well as their children and grandchildren.  What a golden opportunity!   If it can happen in this little dairy town, it can happen anywhere.  Let's make it happen! 

Check out the Facebook group: Tillamook for Love!

Creating Future Peace

I guess the title of this post is what this blog is all about, but I'm referring specifically to race. I grew up in a very small, very white town. My upbringing was a little unusual for my area, because I actually knew Black people as a child. My mother was a Job Corp volunteer, teaching reading to the youth who lived in the barracks of what had formerly been a WWII Navy Base. I was about three at the time and most of these youth were Black. They were away from families, and homesick. Many of them had younger siblings, so when I tagged along with her, I was coddled and adored by these boys. I was their little mascot. I am very grateful to my mother, who believed in civil rights and taught me to as well. She was ahead of her time, and a bit of an anomaly in our backwards little town.

As I grew older, I didn't realize or pay much attention to the fact that there were almost no Black people in our town. I guess I just thought that mostly white populations were the norm. I noticed that many of our local rivers and other features had Native American names. I was vaguely curious about Chief Kilchis, a local chief, who had figured prominently in local history. I lived in what was called, “the Kilchis District,” and there was a small cemetery down the road from my house, where I liked to walk and think. I read the names on the gravestones, and tried to imagine people's stories. I was fascinated to find a gravestone that said, “granddaughter of Chief Kilchis.” I began to wonder why there were no Kilchis Indians. How could it be that there was a whole tribe of them? What happened? As an adult, I became more acutely aware of the racial disparity in my town, and I had heard rumors that we had once been a Ku Kux Klan stronghold. I wondered what other secrets Tillamook held.

I went to the local library and checked out books on local history. There were interesting stories about the Kilchis tribe, but nothing to indicate whatever happened to them. I talked to a local historian and friend, Gerry Hysmith, and she told me an interesting story. Warren Vaughn, a local pioneer, had been the only white man the natives had trusted or liked, apparently (and with good reason). The little cemetery down the road from me had been their sacred burial ground until the early 1900's, when it was taken over by white people. Early on, the Kilchis tribe had brought their complaints to Warren Vaughn about their burial area being desecrated and pillaged by white men. Warren Vaughn vowed to put a stop to it.

At that time, Bay City was a thriving port town, and the county seat. Ships would come in with a load of ballast to weigh down and stabilize them, mostly dirt, rocks, and the sort. Vaughn found a small twig that had been discarded in a load of ballast, and presented it to the natives as a peace offering, and declared it to be his promise to stop the pillaging of native graves. The twig was planted at the top of the cemetery hill, where it grew into a very imposing tree that overlooks the entire cemetery. The tree is pretty much dead, but it stands as a reminder.

About four years ago, I met a woman named Helen Hill, a local playwright, artist, historian, and general renaissance woman. As we chatted, I learned she had written a book called, “A Brief History of Fear and Intolerance in Tillamook County.” She offered me a copy of the book, and I went home and read it in one sitting.

In it, I learned about the Klan activity in Tillamook County. I learned that under that giant sacred tree in “my” little cemetery (where my parents are now buried), lie the children of Chief Kilchis in unmarked graves. I learned that Chief Kilchis died on a reservation in a different county. And I learned why there were no more Kilchis Indians in Tillamook County. Eugenics. The males in that tribe were systematically sterilized. Sterilization is such a handy little word... sounds like neat and clean, but it belies the deep ugliness of what was happening; a young native man would break an arm and be taken to Bay City hospital, where he would be treated, and sterilized. THAT'S what happened. The book answered my questions, but it broke my heart. I knew that the very land I “own” was native land, that my family was only the second white family to ever live on it. I grieved for what my unearned privilege had cost others. I vowed that eventually I would find a way to mark those graves, and I would do my part to ensure that everyone heard this truth. I called Helen and asked her if she had more copies of the book, because I needed to buy them... for my kids, for my friends, for anyone who cares at all about our community. Long story short, she gave me the printing rights to the book, and I have gifted it to many people.

Race has remained at the forefront of my consciousness, as I see the way that racism plays out in my community, from hearing people of Middle East descent, who bought a local convenience store chain, called, “ragheads,” to hearing racist and hateful remarks against Hispanic immigrants, to the fact that there remains very, very few Black people in Tillamook.

A few months ago, I was contacted by a woman from the Rural Organizing Project (www.rop.org) named Sam Hamlin. We met over lunch, and discussed concerns about the sharp rise in racially-based hate crimes in Oregon, along with an alarming increase in White Supremacist activities and presence in the state. The ROP had planned what they referred to as an “emergency response” to this disturbing situation.

A professor from Portland State University, Dr. Walidah Imarisha, had offered to tour rural Oregon, where these groups like to do their dirty work, and present on Black History...not only a history of oppression and struggle, but of resilient, thriving communities of color that had survived against overwhelming odds and contributed a great deal to Oregon. Thanks to ROP, Oregon Humanities, the Tillamook Co. Pioneer Museum, the Women's Resource Center, and Bay City Arts Center, we were able to bring her to Tillamook County. The presentation was called, “Why Aren't There More Black People in Oregon? A Hidden History.”

I had only received 39 RSVPs for the event we set up on September 9th, so I was a little nervous, but over 60 people turned up that evening to participate in the presentation. It was electrifying to see that many people who are investing in addressing this issue; maybe I hadn't given Tillamook enough credit!

Dr. Imarisha used a timeline of Black History in Oregon to shed light on things that most people didn't know. Horrifying and sad things. She asked how many people in the room had grown up and attended Oregon schools, and many hands went up. She then asked how many people had learned of this history, and I don't believe I saw a single hand. She did a fine job of illustrating that this is everyone's history, not just Black history, and it's important for us all to know it.

Many people take pride in knowing that Oregon was founded as an anti-slavery state, without realizing that it was not anti-slavery out of concern for civil rights. It was because slavery would bring Black people to Oregon and they weren't wanted here. Oregon was intended to be a “white homeland.” I learned about the 1844 Lash Law, and many other egregious and hateful practices in what I was always taught was a progressive, open-minded state. I was sad and ashamed.

Helen Hill was there, along with another local hero, retired Justice of the Peace Neal Lemery. When a member of the crowd asked the presenter to show “proof” that Tillamook was a Sundown Town (in which local laws prevent persons of color from being there after sundown), Neal turned around and said that, until 1982, it was still written into local ordinance. What he didn't mention is that he was instrumental in having it removed from the books, against resistance and personal backlash. He had finished law school and come back to his hometown to practice, only to be disheartened, but ready to do something about it. Helen didn't mention her book, but others did, along with a play she had done about the KKK.

We broke into small groups and discussed what we would like to do to move forward to make our community a more welcoming and safe place to live, for everyone. This was never intended to be a one-time conversation, so we collected contact information from those interested in follow-up. I have recently obtained the notes from that meeting, and I am working with the ROP to set up our next event, where we will have the opportunity to plan ways to make this happen.

Here is a link to the PowerPoint created by Dr. Imarisha for this event. It is available on YouTube, with or without commentary. I'm attaching the version with commentary, in case you were not fortunate enough to hear her in person.


Anyone who is interested in joining this very important conversation is welcome. If interested, please contact me at 503-842-8294, x. 209, or email me at romy@tcwrc.net. You can live anywhere in the world and start these conversations. Ending racism is a pretty tall order, but we have to start somewhere right?

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Margaret Mead

Let Freedom Ring!!



Wedding bells are ringing!  Since Oregon overturned the same sex marriage ban last month, two couples I know have set wedding plans.  Last Saturday, in a lovely intimate setting in a beautiful wooded garden area, my friends stood before friends and family and pledged their ongoing love and commitment.



These two women have been together for 27 years, so I had to stifle a giggle when the minister mentioned the enormous commitment it takes to enter into a marriage.  I’m pretty sure they’ve had some time to think it through.  The wedding was beautiful, with a sing-along, accompanied by guitar and recorder, and even a kazoo (you had to be there!).  Even some tinkling wind chimes in a nearby tree contributed as if on cue.  It was magical.

 

As I sat listening to their vows, watching their glowing faces, I thought of the struggles that people have had throughout American history with such issues, back to the time when only white, male, landowners were allowed to vote. 



The same people who would deny these two women the right to marry appear to have the same mindset (and arguments) as the group that opposed interracial marriage in this country back before the 1967 Supreme Court decision lifting that ban.  The same people who would be horrified at the idea of arranged marriages often seem to have no qualms about thinking that two consenting adults in this country can’t make their own decision about marrying one another. How stupid this same-sex marriage ban will look to future generations!  The “fabric of society” will not be compromised one tiny bit by same-sex marriage any more than it was by abolition of slavery, blacks and women voting, or interracial marriage.  I even feel silly pointing that out.  For some people, progress provokes great and unreasonable fear.



So these were my thoughts as I sat there, and I got a little irritated with myself for focusing out on this and not just enjoying this beautiful, historical moment.  Here I was, a part of something sacred, a moment to savor and celebrate!  Here was a reminder of all that is right in this world, and that’s why I feel that in some ways, the world is getting better, not worse as some would believe. 



It’s taken huge sacrifice, and many people have put jobs, reputations, even lives on the line for the right to marry who they want, and here I was watching this huge victory, in a way a culmination of all that struggle.  I’m honored to be a witness to this, and grateful for all the people who spoke out, knowing laws don’t change unless people MAKE them change.  The tipping point seems to take place when people run out of justifications for their bigotry.  It also makes a difference when it affects your neighbors, your friends, your family members, someone you care about.  The scales of justice have finally tipped in the right direction, and it’s a sweet, long-deserved victory.



What hurts one of us ultimately hurts us all, and I’m committed to helping to create a world where people aren’t being hurt.  It’s a tall order, but one step at a time, things are getting better.  By taking a stand, win or lose, we can embolden people to safely be themselves, knowing there are people who have their back.



My friends who married last Saturday have spent decades in the trenches, as activists for marriage equality.  Their victory is about even more than marriage equality; it’s about promotion of the idea of equal rights for all. 



So what’s next?  Well, the Senate passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) for the first time ever.  President Obama recently announced he’s moving ahead on an executive order that will ban anti-LGBT discrimination among federal contractors.  Now we need passage of ENDA in the House of Representatives to get it signed into law.

June is LGBT Pride Month.  For so many Oregonians, this particular June will be the sweetest one of all.  Let’s relish this moment in history and keep fighting the good fight!



Happy Pride Month!


Response from Senator Merkley

For anyone interested, here is the response I received today from Sen. Jeff Merkley in regard to my email about Syria:

Dear Romy,

Thank you for your earlier email to me on the violence in Syria and the possibility of U.S. military intervention. I appreciate having heard from you and I want to share with you my thoughts as the situation continues to develop.
As I wrote in my previous message to you and have said in my public comments, I have had serious reservations about the proposed military action in response to Syria's chemical weapons attack on its citizens.  I have spent hours meeting with the President, Vice President, and officials from the Pentagon, State Department, and intelligence services, and those discussions have not resolved my concerns about the wisdom of the proposed plans. If the Senate votes on the resolution (S.J.Res.21) authorizing that proposed plan, I will oppose it.
I share the President's belief that the use of chemical weapons by Syria is horrific. But it demands a strong international diplomatic response incorporating an array of political and economic actions. The goal should be to deter any additional use by Syria or any other nation. The international community should hold Syria to its promise to transfer its chemical weapons stockpile to international control. While achieving this goal will be challenging, I applaud the progress the administration has made towards its goal in the last few days.
Thank you, again, for sharing your thoughts with me. I hope that you will continue to reach out to me about the issues that are most important to you.
All my best,

Jeffrey A. Merkley
United States Senator

Organizing for Peace

What were you doing in 1992?  I was going through a divorce, and on welfare, with three small kids.  I was living in the small rural town where I grew up, and unbeknownst to me, a movement was being born right under my nose.

That year, a group called Oregon Citizen’s Alliance, headed by extreme conservative and homophobe Lon Mabon, proposed a measure designed to deny civil rights to lesbians and gays in Oregon, and all hell broke loose.  Measure 9 said all governments in the state should not support homosexuality - or "pedophilia, sadism or masochism" - in any way and that they "must assist in setting a standard for Oregon's youth which recognizes that these behaviors are abnormal, wrong, unnatural and perverse and they are to be discouraged and avoided."  (The group had already succeeded in 1988 in repealing former Governor Neil Goldschmidt’s executive order banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in state government, via Measure 8.  The 1988 measure also prohibited protection for lesbian and gay workers from job discrimination.  In 1992, the Oregon Supreme Court overturned it, declaring it unconstitutional.)

Although their rallying cry was “no special rights,” Measure 9 was really about no rights whatsoever, not even the right to live and exist in our society.  This created arguably one of the most hotly contested elections in Oregon history.  More people voted in this election than in the presidential election.

At kitchen tables across Oregon, groups were coming together to talk about LGBT rights, and they were starting to organize.  In larger urban areas, it was easier to find like-minded people, but in the small, rural areas of the state pockets of awareness were forming.  Small, isolated towns were forming human dignity groups in response to this attack on our fellow citizens.  I had a “No on 9” sign in the front window of my house, much to the annoyance of my next door neighbor, a very conservative Christian, whose lawn was peppered with “Yes on 9” signs. 
  
Meanwhile, a small group was traveling across Oregon, from kitchen table to kitchen table, connecting ideas and people.  The Rural Organizing Project was born.  By connecting like-minded people who had been geographically isolated from one another, local human dignity groups, under the statewide umbrella of the Rural Organizing Project, banded together and soundly defeated Measure 9.  Many younger people in Oregon have never even heard of the OCA, or Lon Mabon, but those of us who remember will do whatever we must to prevent the hostile takeover of state law and government by hate groups.  Perhaps we should thank Lon Mabon, the creepy little bigot for kicking a hornet’s nest of fair-minded activists. 

In 1993, the Rural Organizing Project held a Rural Caucus and Strategy Session, bringing together human and civil rights activists from all across the state, and the permanent organization was formed.  On June 8, 2013, the 20th annual ROP Rural Caucus and Strategy Session was held in Woodburn, and for the first time, I was able to attend.  I was honored and humbled to be in the company of people who had spent decades defending the rights of others.  This year’s was the largest ever, with over 160 people in attendance.

I firmly believe that in the absence of justice there is no peace, and there is no peace activism that does not include the responsibility for social justice.  I came away from the caucus believing more firmly than ever before that, while peace rallies are great, every single one of us can be a peace activist every single day.  We all have our niche in which we can create peace through social justice. 
Some of the issues discussed: preventing corporate takeover, treatment of the homeless, LGBT rights, immigration reform, the drones program (and of course war), privatization of public services, fair housing, marriage equality, Guantanamo Bay, self-sufficient living, economic justice, creating welcoming communities, poverty and hunger, youth leadership.

I left with a packet full of information on a variety of issues, feeling empowered and happy.  You don’t have to sign every petition, attend every rally, or march every march to be an activist.  But if you can find something, one thing, that matters to you… that’s where it begins. Everyone who was there had their passion.  I had the privilege of hearing so many voices, and it was overwhelming, but in a good way.
I am hoping, over the next few blog posts, to highlight a few of the efforts taking place, some of the partnerships that are being formed, and maybe some stories of how they got started.  But for now, I’ll simply share the overriding values identified by the Rural Organizing Project… democracy, human dignity, justice, and solidarity… and encourage you to go to their website and learn more:


In closing, I will share my all-time favorite story about my dad.  When I was growing up, my dad was not known for his open-minded spirit. He used to remind me of the character Archie Bunker off the TV show All in the Family.  At about age 68, he quit drinking and I saw his demeanor become kinder.  At age 72, he went completely and irreversibly blind from macular degeneration.  In 1992, at the height of the OCA debacle, he was 76 years old and eating lunch with my mom at the local senior meal site.  The discussion turned to politics, and inevitably to Measure 9.  My brave dad, in spite of his blindness, in spite of his awareness that since World War II, he had lived in an extremely conservative community, STOOD UP, and spoke out loudly and boldly to his peers AGAINST Measure 9.  My dad, who I had once compared to Archie Bunker, took one small action that will forever define him in my book as an activist.  I have never been so proud as I was of him when I heard about it from my mom.  He didn't define himself as an activist, but he believed in fairness.

My dad would have turned 98 yesterday.  He passed away in 1994.  For the past 19 years, I have tried to live in a way that would make him proud, but most of all, to be as brave and outspoken about my truth as he was that day.  That one moment changed my perception of him forever, and sometimes all we need is one moment to speak out for justice to create peace.

Death of a Terrorist

On May 5, 2005, in Grants Pass, Oregon, a terrorist was killed by his captors, after an 18-year reign of terror.    Aaron Maldonado was a terrorist.  

I have had the privilege of hearing Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune speak; she has often referred to domestic violence as “domestic terrorism.”  It is a very apt term for domestic violence.  Merriam-Webster defines terrorism as “the systematic use of terror, especially as a means of coercion.”  The definition of domestic violence, according to the U.S. Dept. of Justice, is “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  DV can be sexual, physical, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.  This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, TERRORIZE, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”

Over the course of an 18-year marriage, Wendy Maldonado endured the entire gamut of horrific abuse.  Aaron Maldonado raped her; he knelt on her head, in front of their children, until she stopped breathing.  He bashed her head through the walls so often that she covered the holes with pictures her children drew (when he wasn't home, so she wouldn't be beaten).  He knocked out her teeth.  He beat her unconscious while she was driving, and made it very clear he would kill her family members one by one if she ever left him, or tried to get police help. He abused her daily.  He inflicted torture and abuse on their four sons and family pets.  His youngest son reportedly told his preschool teacher that when he grew up he was going to kill his daddy.

On the last night of his life, Aaron’s behavior was so frightening that Randy, his 16-year-old son (the oldest) risked his life and called 9-1-1.  Police were met in the yard by Wendy and Randy, who said everything was okay.  They failed to notice Randy trying to silently indicate to them that his father was watching on a surveillance camera, so they left.  Neighbors stopped the police and begged them to go back, but the police declined.

When this last-ditch effort to get help had failed, Wendy faced the wrath of her husband.  In desperation, Wendy and Randy did what they felt they needed to do to save the lives of themselves, Wendy’s other three younger sons, and their extended family: they killed him.

Wendy called 9-1-1 immediately to report the killing, and was immediately arrested.  Twelve days later, three days after his 17th birthday, Randy was arrested.  Other than during a ten-month period when Wendy was out on bond, she has been separated from her sons. 

Randy was released from jail on August 8, 2011.  While his brothers, Joshua, Marshall, and Tyler, have been allowed to visit their mother in jail, Randy has not been allowed to see his mother in person for more than six years, because they are co-defendants.  They have only been allowed phone conversations since his release; her release date is March 7, 2016.

On April 27, 2010, Amazon.com released a movie, from award-winning filmmaker Tommy Davis, entitled “One Minute To Nine,” a moving and shocking documentary that uses extensive home footage to chronicle Wendy's story.  It was later picked up by HBO and retitled, “Every F---ing Day of My Life.”

Many people, including me, do not believe that society is any better off, or any good has been served, from incarcerating either Wendy or her son; it has resulted in further traumatization of their entire family.  Her sons have not had the opportunity for a decent life with a loving mother who was trying to protect them.  There seems to be little doubt that killing her husband saved their lives.  Even the judge who sentenced Wendy described their family life as the worst domestic violence case he had ever seen, and expressed sadness over required sentencing guidelines.

In a society that loves to blame victims of domestic and sexual violence, I guess it should come as no surprise that this mother and son were not supported by the justice system, in spite of a grassroots swell of support from people who knew the family.  While any loss of life is tragic, there is a solid case here of a mother trying to save her children’s lives.  If a stranger had threatened her children, she would have been applauded for killing him, but since it’s their dad… she is in prison.

Two of her four sons are now grown and married, having grown up in hell, then losing both parents… one to death and one to the justice system.  This is one of those cases where the law did not uphold justice.  This family has been through far more suffering and pain than most of us can fathom, and yet it continues, because of the justice system’s warped perception that somehow society is safer with Wendy behind bars. 

Right now, there is a major effort underway to free Wendy and her family from the justice system, reunite them, and let them start to heal from a lifetime of trauma.  The person who can make that decision is Dr. John Kitzhaber, Governor of Oregon.  In a few weeks, he will determine whether to grant clemency to Wendy Maldonado, freeing her from jail, or leaving her there for three more pointless years.
YOU CAN HELP.  You can email Dr. Kitzhaber by going to http://governor.oregon.gov, click on “contacts,” then “request assistance or leave a comment.”  You can also call the Governor’s Citizen Main Line at (503) 378-4582.  Either method is equally effective.

To learn more about this case, visit http://www.freewendyandherfamily.com, or learn more about the film at http://www.oneminutetonine.com/faq.  There is more information on both of these sites about ways you can support Wendy and her family, regardless of the outcome of the clemency request, including financial support for legal expenses and the Educational Trust Fund for the Maldonado sons.

Let’s free Wendy and her family.  Justice needs to be served.

"True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice."   Martin Luther King, Jr.

Father's Day

I spent this last Father’s Day in silent, burning rage at my dad, and it’s taken me three months to sort it out enough to write.